GEORGE: This is wonderful Radio Beatle People broadcasting on 199 parking meters in the medium wave band.
JOHN: Remember folks, Wonderful Radio Beatle People is Britain's first on-shore pirate radio station, broadcasting tonight and every night from a well-known transport caff moored somewhere off the M6.
PAUL: Christmas is coming and Mal is getting fat so at this very special time of the year we bring you a very special programme with seasonal greeting of good will and great joy.
JOHN: Evenin' Will - are you feeling good?
GEORGE: Evening Joy - you're looking great.
PAUL: Now for the first stage of our journey around the nation we take you over to a bath somewhere in Liverpool.
GEORGE: Here in the heart of Liverpool we stop the mighty roar of bathwater to bring you the voice of Ringo Starr, musician, philosopher, television personality and father.
RINGO: Oh it's nothing really.
GEORGE: I notice your bath is filled with rubber rings.
RINGO: Yes. They use this place for Wrestling on Wednesdays.
GEORGE: Wait a minute, Ringo, your script has slipped into the water.
RINGO: So it has. Not to worry. It can swim.
GEORGE: Is there anything very special you'd like to say to Radio Beatle People listeners?
RINGO: Not really. Not now that my script has slipped into the water.
PAUL: And now waiting beside our live microphone in Middle Woolton is JOHN LENNON, well-known table tennis wicket keeper and political figure.
JOHN: You know there's really nothing very much wrong with this fine old country of ours. But it's no good us sitting back and taking it easy and thinking there's really nothing very much wrong with this fine old country of ours. That's the attitude of a defeatist like me. Bring back the cat. That's what I say. Bring back the cat and let's get rid of these mice once and for all.
PAUL: Next we take you to a wind-making factory in the suburbs of Dingle Garden City. Here we're going to listen to the under-secretary of the Amalgamated Wind Encouragers Union, GEORGE HARRISON.
GEORGE: Right lads, this has been a wonderful year for wind but we can do better yet. We must all put our best knees forward, our hands to the stomach pump and our feet to the grindstone.
JOHN: Hands off whales!
GEORGE: Exactly, brother, you don't know where they've been. And a blustery Xmas to one and all.
PAUL: Finally we take you over to a rockandroll band somewhere in London where a Fan Club Christmas Record is being recorded . . . .
JOHN: On behalf of all us Beatles I'd like to take this opportunity of thanking Beatle People everywhere for making the past twelve months another year for us.
GEORGE: Yes, folks, it really has been a year. And it has gone so quickly for all of us that I haven't even had time to say it's your turn now Ringo.
RINGO: I'd like to say on behalf of us all that Christmas is very close indeed now and if you haven't already thought about it then it's high time you did.
JOHN: Paul, you're very silent considering.
PAUL: I was just considering silently.
JOHN: It's been another good year considering, hasn't it?
PAUL: Definitely. Seriously though we'd like to take this opportunity of saying . . . .
JOHN: Thank You.
RINGO: Thanks a million.
PAUL: . . . . for being Beatle People in 1965. See you on tour and have a great Christmas, won't you?